Self-Regulation Activities for Kids: 35 OT Ideas to Calm, Focus and Cope

What self-regulation is, how it develops, co-regulation, the Zones of Regulation and Alert Program, and 35 OT self-regulation activities for toddlers to teens.

Sensory & Autism 11 min read

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Published October 9, 2026

Child using a feelings chart for self-regulation

Every child has moments of being “too wound up” or “too flat” to learn, play or get along. Self-regulation is the ability to notice these states and do something to get back to “just right”. It’s a skill, and like any skill it can be taught and practised.

What is self-regulation?

Self-regulation is the ability to manage energy, emotions, attention and behaviour to fit the situation. It includes:

  • calming down after being upset or excited
  • getting going when tired or sluggish
  • waiting, taking turns and stopping an impulse
  • focusing on a task and shifting to the next one

How self-regulation develops

From co-regulation to self-regulation

Older children and teens ↑

  1. Self-regulation

    Notices own state and chooses a strategy independently.

  2. Guided self-regulation

    Uses strategies with reminders and visual supports.

  3. Shared regulation

    Adult and child do strategies together.

  4. Co-regulation

    A calm adult soothes and organises the child.

Babies and toddlers

Young children learn to regulate by being regulated, again and again, by calm adults.

Two OT frameworks

Zones of RegulationAlert Program
Created by Occupational therapist Leah KuypersOccupational therapists Mary Sue Williams and Sherry Shellenberger
Core idea Four colour zones of feelings and energyAn engine that runs high, low or just right
States Blue (slow, tired, sad), Green (calm, focused), Yellow (wiggly, worried, frustrated), Red (out of control)High, low, just right
How it helps Name the zone, then choose a tool to move zonesNotice the engine, then use sensory strategies to change speed

How to teach a strategy

Teaching self-regulation

  1. Practise when calm

    Teach and rehearse strategies in a good moment.

  2. Model it

    "I'm frustrated. I'll take three slow breaths."

  3. Notice together

    "Your body looks wiggly. What zone are you in?"

  4. Offer a choice

    Show 2–3 tools on a visual menu.

  5. Reflect afterwards

    "That helped you calm down. Nice choice."

35 self-regulation activities

Body-based activities (1–12)
Activity Good for
1. Wall push-ups Calming, focusing
2. Carrying heavy items Calming. See heavy work
3. Animal walks Alerting and organising
4. Star jumps Waking up a sluggish body
5. Bear hugs or self-hugs Calming
6. Squeeze a stress ball or putty Calming hands
7. Slow rocking or swinging Calming
8. Yoga poses (tree, mountain, child's pose) Calming and body awareness
9. Shake it out Releasing tension
10. Push palms together hard for 10 seconds Quick, quiet calming
11. Drink cold water through a straw Alerting and organising
12. Crunchy snack Alerting
Breathing and mindfulness (13–20)
Activity How
13. Smell the flower, blow the candle Slow in through the nose, long out through the mouth
14. Balloon breathing Hands on tummy; fill like a balloon, let it out slowly
15. Starfish breathing Trace around the fingers: breathe in going up, out going down
16. Square breathing In 4, hold 4, out 4, hold 4 (older children)
17. Bubble blowing Slow, long breaths make big bubbles
18. 5-4-3-2-1 grounding 5 things you see, 4 hear, 3 feel, 2 smell, 1 taste
19. Body scan Notice each body part from toes to head
20. Glitter jar Shake, then watch it settle
Games that build self-control (21–28)
Game Skill
21. Simon Says Listening and stopping
22. Freeze dance Stopping on cue
23. Red light, green light Start and stop control
24. Musical statues Holding still
25. Slow-motion races Controlling speed
26. Jenga Careful, controlled movement
27. Turn-taking board games Waiting and coping with losing
28. 'Opposite' game Thinking before acting
Feelings and thinking tools (29–35)
Tool How
29. Feelings check-in chart Point to the face or colour that matches
30. Zones or engine check "What zone/engine speed am I in?"
31. Visual calm-down menu Pictures of 4–6 strategies to choose from
32. Calm corner Cushions, soft light, sensory tools
33. Body clues detective Where do I feel this feeling? See interoception
34. Size of the problem Is it a small, medium or big problem?
35. Drawing or journaling Express the feeling, then problem-solve

Tips by age

  • Toddlers: rely on co-regulation: calm voice, cuddles, rocking, simple words for feelings.
  • Preschoolers: feelings faces, breathing games, a calm corner, simple choices.
  • School age: Zones or engine language, visual menus, movement breaks, self-check-ins.
  • Teens: self-monitoring, exercise, music, mindfulness apps, talking it through.

How occupational therapy helps

An occupational therapist looks at what affects a child’s regulation (sensory processing, sleep, routines, environment and skills), then teaches strategies, builds a sensory diet, and coaches parents and teachers in co-regulation. Read more about sensory overload, sensory diet for ADHD and OT goals for autism.

Summary

Self-regulation is learned through co-regulation and practice. OT frameworks like the Zones of Regulation and the Alert Program help children notice their state and choose a strategy. Mix body, breathing, game and feelings tools, practise them when calm, and build them into daily routines.

References

  • Kuypers LM. The Zones of Regulation. Think Social Publishing; 2011.
  • Williams MS, Shellenberger S. How Does Your Engine Run? A Leader’s Guide to the Alert Program for Self-Regulation. TherapyWorks; 1996.
  • Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. Executive function & self-regulation.
  • Shanker S. Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle. Penguin.

Frequently asked questions

What is self-regulation in children?
Self-regulation is a child's ability to manage their energy, emotions, attention and behaviour to fit the situation: calming down when upset, getting going when sluggish, waiting their turn, and focusing on a task.
What are self-regulation activities for kids?
Activities that help children notice and change their state, such as heavy work, movement breaks, deep pressure, breathing games, feelings check-ins, calm corners, sensory tools, and games like Simon Says or Freeze Dance that practise stopping and starting.
What is co-regulation?
Co-regulation is when a calm adult helps a child regulate through their presence, voice, touch and support. Young children rely on co-regulation, and it's how they gradually learn to self-regulate.
What are the Zones of Regulation?
The Zones of Regulation, created by occupational therapist Leah Kuypers, sorts feelings and energy levels into four colour zones (blue, green, yellow and red) and teaches children tools to move between zones.
What is the Alert Program?
The Alert Program, by occupational therapists Mary Sue Williams and Sherry Shellenberger, uses the idea of an engine running high, low or just right to help children notice their alertness and use sensory strategies to change it.

Written by

Deepam Pawar is an occupational therapist and co-founder of Occupational Therapy OT. He focuses on clinical frameworks, assessment, and evidence-based practice.

All articles by Deepam →

This article is for general education and is not a substitute for individualized assessment or treatment by a licensed occupational therapist. Always seek the guidance of a qualified professional for specific concerns.

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